Pressure

While it has not officially happened yet, it is obvious that autumn is approaching. In Minnesota one can feel it and then behaviors start to follow: air conditioners no longer run while lights begin to run longer as the temperature changes and darkness begins to win the battle with daylight for the amount of minutes in a day, sleeping weather is referenced on the evening weather report while light jackets are taken out of storage as it becomes easier to fall asleep at night but then chillier in the mornings, and students wake early to catch buses and summer cabins start to prepare for closing as school begins to dominate family lives.

I have spent my life in school: attending as a student, educating as a teacher, leading as a principal. Many things have been constant over all these years, but one that seems to stand out is pressure. I have felt the pressure to succeed as far back as I can remember. Much of that was self-imposed, but reflecting on it now, it does not seem to matter whether from society, parents, peers, or myself. The absolute need to do and/or be great was a huge pressure. No one sets out to be “average,” but maybe if we all were a little more average, we would not be so disappointed, so angry, so paralyzed when we are not the champions of the world.

School has just started and all seems well. The buildings look amazing, new clothes, new teachers, new classes, and new opportunities. ...until next week: then all of the community-building and the get-to-know-ya activities will have come to an end, and Pressure reveals that it is ever present. Learning occurs in an individual when experience causes permanent change; one can never go back in knowledge or behavior (a paraphrase of sorts from Dr. Steven Katz). It seems to naturally occur when one is young, either on its own -- think about the perseverance of a child learning to walk -- or with someone’s help and modeling -- think about a parent teaching that child to tie a shoe. But then “school” happens and everything changes. The learning changes: assessments become grades, grades become a G.P.A., and competition to be the best in one’s class or grade level or school or district or community or state or region or nation become the focus. Again, it does not matter if societal or self-imposed.

We cannot help it: We have to compete. We (sometimes) want others to do well but inside we want to be just a little better. It is a perspective that is drilled into us through the media, sports, and day-to-day experiences. It is used as a motivator so regularly that when one does not want to compete, judgment ensues. And whether driven by the desire to compete or not, Pressure has now arrived: the pressure to be the best or the pressure to compete because that is what everyone does.

As I said, I have felt this pressure. At one time in my life it was so intense that I needed some major support. While it helped temporarily, my learning -- that which was permanent -- was that Pressure was here to stay. I have spent many days, months, and years trying to teach myself and support others in how to strive to do well yet also be just a little more average than exceptional. That is the kind of being my best that I am trying to be.

Billy Joel has a song called “Pressure” (1982). Some of the lyrics are

Don't ask for help/You're all alone/Pressure

You'll have to answer/To your own/Pressure

I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale

But here you are in the ninth

Two men out and three men on

Nowhere to look but inside/Where we all respond to/Pressure

Pressure

As another school year begins, I invite parents and students to ask for help, knowing that you are NOT alone. Collaboration can help with finding answers, and with those answers can come learning that positively impacts others and relieves a little

Pressure, pressure

One, two, three, four

Pressure

originally posted 9.8.18 on a different site

#perspective #outlook