A Change: Out with the old, in with the new

For 18 years I roamed the sidelines, stood in (or close to) a coaching box, or leaned over the fence that circled a track. Extend that three more years into the world of youth sports, and you have my coaching career. It began in the early nineties, and now those days of the Minnesota High School League are coming to a close. This week began my daughter’s senior soccer season, and I cannot begin to explain how drastically sports seemingly have changed. ...or is it me?

Back in my day was a phrase I heard as I was playing sports that referred to how great sports used to be. But how “great” could that really have been? The opportunities even as I played in the eighties were somewhat slim. We could not play “school sports” until junior high but did get to play some recreational soccer and baseball beginning when I was about seven. It was fun to run around and “compete.” At the time that was not a word I used or really knew; it really was try to win. But if we did not win, I was absolutely okay with having just ran around.

My neighborhood had awesome pick-up games of football and soccer. My best friend at the time and his brother would play my brother and me in Wiffle ball. During the day there were games of War and at night games of Kick the Can.

“Travel Basketball” (basketball that practiced a couple times a week and then had a few tournaments on the weekends) began in fifth grade and then eventually conflicted with “school ball” (basketball that was practiced after school and then competed about once a week against a neighboring school). The culmination of all our hard work and the hours of shooting baskets in my driveway reached their pinnacle with high school and Varsity sports.

I live in the world of nostalgia a lot lately, and I know that it brings me often to past belief fallacy, but I cannot help to think that sports were better back in the day. Title IX had long since allowed females to compete, and I truly enjoyed the long co-ed track meets in the spring where I could hang out with guys and girls while I waited to run my 400m races.

While I live in this odd place now, having left the world of coaching and nearing the end of watching my children compete, I wonder if I have changed more than the sport. I know my youth travel teams played around 33 basketball games a season while my varsity teams played around 28, depending on how deep into the playoffs we would get. This is nothing in comparison to my 12 to 15 games I played as a youth athlete. At the time I thought the varsity season was too long when I coached, so the youth season was ridiculous. But this opinion was in the minority. Yet as I look closely at the players’ faces after the contests, I am not sure I see the reaction of having had fun from just running around.

Teacher Preparation/Workshop Week started on Monday, and we heard from a counselor about courageous conversations, trauma, and the brain. She wondered if we could all make a positive change in our thinking; I believe this assuming positive intention. She said that when we do, it changes our actions or expectations. For example, if someone is in a hurry and cuts you off in traffic, the positive intention is that there was an emergency or that it is really important for him to get there quickly. This change helps both our mental and physical states.

I like this idea -- boy, there must be a lot of emergencies people need to get to each day! -- but it is hard for me to train my thinking to follow it. Maybe it is both okay that sports have changed and that I also have changed over these decades. I know my actions have changed now that I no longer coach. If I can change my expectations (back?) to seeing on the face of my daughter and her teammates the joy of having just run around, I bet this final season will bring me joy as well.

originally posted 8.25.18 on a different site

#newyear #old